This is exactly where I am right now. There is no metaphorical "ball" in my court, but I wish I could just get the other player to at least aim in the right direction. Here is where my life stands:
Sector A: Interview went well, the manager that attended the interview as well as the manager that would have been in the interview, but couldn't, commented on how impressed they were that I was so prepared. I brought it. I took it seriously because this is seriously what drives me to do many of the things that I want to do, both in the short and long term of my life. There are a couple more people they need to interview, so hopefully I will hear some feedback/results next week.
Sector T: All that I can submit has been submitted. They are waiting for two references. I just need to be extra persistent with one as they said they would get it done this past weekend. The other who I never see because they are at a different store, I have "nudged" them by sending them an email - because honestly, maybe they don't check that account and it's sitting in an overflowing inbox between shopping ads and newsletters.
In other news, today was an odd day at work. Granted, I was off for the last three days before today, but it was as though some of the wiring for the store became frayed today somehow. I caught wind of some news that three co-workers are off to greener pastures as well as heard some very unsettling news about the pitfalls of feedback. It also made me realize that retail is a system that is in ever need of repair and upkeep. One problem gets fixed, while another problem (usually something that was a problem before but was repaired) pops up. A co-worker of mine that no longer works in the same store definitely nailed it when she referred to it as "a vicious cycle". I remember she got so much flack for obviously flubbing on her words, but there was definite truth to her Freudian slip.
I have also come to a realization that my life is often too absorbed in many peoples' lives. My heart can only handle so much and also with campaign season upon us, there is only so much ad hominem and personal political wars that I can take before I completely give up on humanity. The problem is that I have not figured out how exactly to prune the exposure - FB is only so user-friendly, but fails at mass friendlist editing. My mind has twice courted the idea of deactivating my account there and just communicating with people via this site. I know that I would have some very unhappy family members if they could not keep up with my daughter.
All I can do now is to utilize the ignore feed on FB, maybe I can control what feedback I receive from the social network.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Passed
On Friday afternoon, after checking the site constantly after taking the test last Tuesday, I was sitting at a red light (shame on me, I shouldn't use my phone while behind the wheel) and I felt the urge to check again. A few red lights later I was able to see the word that was to help get things in motion. The score was pretty high in comparison to what I need to pass. The range of the passing score to the highest score was sixty points and I scored 34 points higher than the passing score.
This past weekend was going to be the prime "complete everything else" time. Little girl was recovering from her strep throat from two weeks ago, then husband fell ill Friday night and ended up going to urgent care the next morning with a diagnosis in the tune of URI. On Sunday, little girl was cranky (as she does when she is sick) in the morning, but her urgent care center would not open until noon, so I had to succeed at getting her to take a nap...and nap she did, for FIVE hours. After our five our nap, she was as chipper as she would have been at 7am that morning. Except that late Sunday, I started to feel the tinge of illness. Yesterday, at work, I felt awful all day with runny nose, sinus pressure headaches, bodyaches, chills...and came home that night to discover a very high fever, one that reminds me of the old "Say no to drugs" ads. You know the ones.
Doctor visit this morning assures me that I get the best of both of my cherished loved ones ailments. I have both strep and URI. My fever finally broke around noon, and I feel like a sweaty mess. If you sit in my chair afterwards, be assured I did not have an accident, it is just damp from all the sweat (I'm hoping all the toxins are being pushed out of my body).
Despite the fog and initial recovery, which finds me in coughing fits ending up in stomach cramps, I did get my application sent off as well as getting the change to stop by the bank to get a form notarized to send off with the materials they need from me.
My mother, sister, and aunt will be here on Friday...and the house is a wreck - I had anticipated that today and tomorrow would be clean up days since I am off work (and I should have known earlier in the month that these would be my recovery from illness days, because that usually happens when I have an anticipated and well planned day off) but I know I need rest to make it through the next couple of weeks...fraught with more anticipation (acceptance into the program?, wowing my current bosses in an interview for a position that I have sought for three years?)
But I can only worry about today...
This past weekend was going to be the prime "complete everything else" time. Little girl was recovering from her strep throat from two weeks ago, then husband fell ill Friday night and ended up going to urgent care the next morning with a diagnosis in the tune of URI. On Sunday, little girl was cranky (as she does when she is sick) in the morning, but her urgent care center would not open until noon, so I had to succeed at getting her to take a nap...and nap she did, for FIVE hours. After our five our nap, she was as chipper as she would have been at 7am that morning. Except that late Sunday, I started to feel the tinge of illness. Yesterday, at work, I felt awful all day with runny nose, sinus pressure headaches, bodyaches, chills...and came home that night to discover a very high fever, one that reminds me of the old "Say no to drugs" ads. You know the ones.
Doctor visit this morning assures me that I get the best of both of my cherished loved ones ailments. I have both strep and URI. My fever finally broke around noon, and I feel like a sweaty mess. If you sit in my chair afterwards, be assured I did not have an accident, it is just damp from all the sweat (I'm hoping all the toxins are being pushed out of my body).
Despite the fog and initial recovery, which finds me in coughing fits ending up in stomach cramps, I did get my application sent off as well as getting the change to stop by the bank to get a form notarized to send off with the materials they need from me.
My mother, sister, and aunt will be here on Friday...and the house is a wreck - I had anticipated that today and tomorrow would be clean up days since I am off work (and I should have known earlier in the month that these would be my recovery from illness days, because that usually happens when I have an anticipated and well planned day off) but I know I need rest to make it through the next couple of weeks...fraught with more anticipation (acceptance into the program?, wowing my current bosses in an interview for a position that I have sought for three years?)
But I can only worry about today...
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Crossroads
The title pretty much sums it up - my life right now is depending on the presence of one little word on a website that does not have the information needed to give that one little word. Passed. This past Tuesday I took the official first step into applying for an Alternative Certification program to gain my Teacher Certification. This test must be passed to even be accepted into an AltCert program. However, there are many other mini-hurdles to overcome to be accepted. If I planned out the courses that I have taken over the last year correctly, all the A's should help my last 60 hours very much. The next step would be financial - the summer is a pretty meager time for all of us, because my husband's private lesson studio dwindles as school is out, then add my part time hours of lovely Retail (I went part-time to really go all-out and attend school full-time these last two semesters)...Hello Ramen!
Also, a rare opportunity surfaced again at work, there is a full time Creative position, and hopefully I will get to interview for it in the next week or so. I know they are going to ask about school (which that leg of my long term plan is done, I hope) and what about my dream of teaching outside of work (which is a possibility, but the teaching market is still bruised). But if I could convince them that I am the right person, I could have some more stable routine in my retail work life, and not to mention full-time perks again. Yes, best case scenario, I would find an internship as a first year teacher starting in August...but that is still some time away - and there are still so many things that must happen first.
Sweet girl is getting smarter and more gracious - she says "thank you", "Please"...and even "Bless You" after someone sneezes. She loves music, dancing, and Yo Gabba Gabba (which considering the formers, is no surprise). We continue to learn more about ourselves through her everyday, and I ache to provide her more. More love, more of my time, and more of the opportunities that I can only dream to give her.
...and to think maybe that whirlwind could start from a single anticipated word.
Also, a rare opportunity surfaced again at work, there is a full time Creative position, and hopefully I will get to interview for it in the next week or so. I know they are going to ask about school (which that leg of my long term plan is done, I hope) and what about my dream of teaching outside of work (which is a possibility, but the teaching market is still bruised). But if I could convince them that I am the right person, I could have some more stable routine in my retail work life, and not to mention full-time perks again. Yes, best case scenario, I would find an internship as a first year teacher starting in August...but that is still some time away - and there are still so many things that must happen first.
Sweet girl is getting smarter and more gracious - she says "thank you", "Please"...and even "Bless You" after someone sneezes. She loves music, dancing, and Yo Gabba Gabba (which considering the formers, is no surprise). We continue to learn more about ourselves through her everyday, and I ache to provide her more. More love, more of my time, and more of the opportunities that I can only dream to give her.
...and to think maybe that whirlwind could start from a single anticipated word.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Dusting off the cobwebs...
Well, for a little while at least. Just wanted to make sure I could even sign in...it's amazing what one could forget in over a year. It has been over a year since my last post, but life does a lot of things to you.
I wanted to revisit, to try to be better at blogging more frequently, because there are some changes that are underway in my life. They are no where near being finalized for my comfort, but I have had some little hiccup barriers that could have made me lose hope, but God always finds a way for the good work one is destined to do.
Next week, I will start on some Field-Based Training, where I will observe some classrooms to fulfill my 30 hour requirement. My hiccup was that a lot of the schools stopped taking classroom observers at the beginning of last month, and this observation requirement was just discovered a couple of weeks ago at a meeting with Region 10.
There are still other things to combat, but I know I'm in good Hands. Now off to work for the evening!
I wanted to revisit, to try to be better at blogging more frequently, because there are some changes that are underway in my life. They are no where near being finalized for my comfort, but I have had some little hiccup barriers that could have made me lose hope, but God always finds a way for the good work one is destined to do.
Next week, I will start on some Field-Based Training, where I will observe some classrooms to fulfill my 30 hour requirement. My hiccup was that a lot of the schools stopped taking classroom observers at the beginning of last month, and this observation requirement was just discovered a couple of weeks ago at a meeting with Region 10.
There are still other things to combat, but I know I'm in good Hands. Now off to work for the evening!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Major Funkiness
So many things have happened since my last post - and all of these things have been pretty good excuses not to update.
After my last pour-out, I took a spontaneous mini-jump back into school life. So if you were to be looking for me at 7am on some mornings - I would be sitting in a classroom at a local community college, learning.
I also got in touch with that teaching program advisor after a spell of random events (my transcripts were placed in another person's box, another person who has not worked there since the beginning of the year, and the advisor just happened to see some papers peeking from this box of things to be forgotten, and she was able to reconnect with me) and she gave me a viable plan. Wish I could have known this plan before I applied for my current class because it not a necessary course in the long run. But He is Master over time.
Retail exhausts and frustrates me. It has always been this way - but the lack of routine is what is the most frustrating. Before my daughter came into this world, routine was the enemy. But now ask me how it is when I don't get to see my daughter in over 40 hours due to my schedule or through "clo-pen" shifts. Not sure how routine would feel, but I imagine it is this way:
Waking up at the same time everyday to get daughter ready for daycare (and Routine would allow ME to take her to daycare instead of leaving it to my husband (he is a champ, by the way) who is good friends with Routine). I would go to work, leave work at a regular time everyday and early enough to pick up baby girl. After work, we could do ANYTHING, go to the library (we maybe get to go once every couple of months now), go to the park, go shopping, maybe enroll her into a water babies class....and then we could make and have dinner together with Daddy. Without Routine's evil twin Retail, we could also have WEEKENDS - Time to do things I have always wanted to do, various events/festivals that happen in town, see friends, do things that my soul has hungered to do such as becoming more involved in the community or in the local church. We won't even go into the bliss HOLIDAYS could bring.
...but Retail is our main source of income, it is also the provider of health insurance incase baby girl gets sick or goes in for well-baby checkups...
I have been trying to find a way to break from Retail since my daughter was born or even find a way to change Retail into something like Routine.
I miss my baby girl a lot...and it has only gotten worse since she is so full of energy and personality. She is walking and just pure FUN. She has always been pure fun, but now that she is a little more independent and isn't waking every three hours as well as doing things on her own - it is exciting watching her discover new things or talents that she didn't know she had...and I feel as though I'm missing it all.
So that has been on my mind for the last...I can't even remember.
I am not going to log onto Facebook for Lent, so I will hopefully update more on here. So until then....
After my last pour-out, I took a spontaneous mini-jump back into school life. So if you were to be looking for me at 7am on some mornings - I would be sitting in a classroom at a local community college, learning.
I also got in touch with that teaching program advisor after a spell of random events (my transcripts were placed in another person's box, another person who has not worked there since the beginning of the year, and the advisor just happened to see some papers peeking from this box of things to be forgotten, and she was able to reconnect with me) and she gave me a viable plan. Wish I could have known this plan before I applied for my current class because it not a necessary course in the long run. But He is Master over time.
Retail exhausts and frustrates me. It has always been this way - but the lack of routine is what is the most frustrating. Before my daughter came into this world, routine was the enemy. But now ask me how it is when I don't get to see my daughter in over 40 hours due to my schedule or through "clo-pen" shifts. Not sure how routine would feel, but I imagine it is this way:
Waking up at the same time everyday to get daughter ready for daycare (and Routine would allow ME to take her to daycare instead of leaving it to my husband (he is a champ, by the way) who is good friends with Routine). I would go to work, leave work at a regular time everyday and early enough to pick up baby girl. After work, we could do ANYTHING, go to the library (we maybe get to go once every couple of months now), go to the park, go shopping, maybe enroll her into a water babies class....and then we could make and have dinner together with Daddy. Without Routine's evil twin Retail, we could also have WEEKENDS - Time to do things I have always wanted to do, various events/festivals that happen in town, see friends, do things that my soul has hungered to do such as becoming more involved in the community or in the local church. We won't even go into the bliss HOLIDAYS could bring.
...but Retail is our main source of income, it is also the provider of health insurance incase baby girl gets sick or goes in for well-baby checkups...
I have been trying to find a way to break from Retail since my daughter was born or even find a way to change Retail into something like Routine.
I miss my baby girl a lot...and it has only gotten worse since she is so full of energy and personality. She is walking and just pure FUN. She has always been pure fun, but now that she is a little more independent and isn't waking every three hours as well as doing things on her own - it is exciting watching her discover new things or talents that she didn't know she had...and I feel as though I'm missing it all.
So that has been on my mind for the last...I can't even remember.
I am not going to log onto Facebook for Lent, so I will hopefully update more on here. So until then....
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Little Victories
The last couple of days have been a whirlwind of energy, laziness, and energized laziness.
Upon waking yesterday morning, I felt sick to my stomach and let's just say things were not going so well in the bathroom. I hated doing this, but I called in sick because I was not going to be of very much use between bathroom time and stomach cramps. So I catnapped as much as I could, all with the gazillion things that go on in my mind when my hands are idle. So I spent the day being productive in reorganizing the finances on this new software I'm trying out, and breaking out the cross-stitching that had not been touched since before Lily was ever on the horizon.
I also proceeded to hang some things up around the house, because I am desperate to feel settled in the new place.
This morning Chris and I had a breakfast date over free Chick-Fil-A spicy chicken biscuits after taking Lily to "school" (aka daycare) and listening to preschoolers at a presentation given by the Heard Natural Science Museum. The two presenters were showing off various items and their place in nature such as turtle shells, pelts, and foliage. There was one precocious (and precious) youngling who kept asking "those" questions; "The turtle died? How did it die? Why did it die?...and such related difficult questions. I wonder how I'm going to answer when it's my turn to answer...
Chris left for work and I commenced on being productive. I hung up more wall decor, including getting the printer to behave and print some pictures of Baby Girl to put in this frame I got for her room. Needing some household items, I went shopping for such and picked up a couple of fat quarters. For those of you who didn't know, I got my very first sewing machine this past Christmas and having never used one am itching for inspiration and nervous to jump in without any idea of where to start. I picked up these two because they appealed to me and hopefully will provide me with some inspiration as to their intended purpose in life.
I also put myself in a position where my vulnerabilities are going to be exposed. I contacted someone about an alternative teacher preparation program. Christopher challenged me to do this, and I've been meaning to, but I am afraid - afraid that the answer will be no. But I know I have a backup plan, one that will take several years to accomplish.
The dilemma: one of the requirements of an alt-cert program is an undergraduate degree with a minimum GPA of 2.5. Yeah, my vulnerability is that requirement because it is lower. You see, my last couple of years of school were full of many struggles, including how to cope with my diagnosis of ADHD, to where when I got overwhelmed with alot of the same, I would just shut down. This was never a problem before because I was involved in so many things...to the point I was overstimulated mentally-which is sanity for someone with ADHD. So although my first couple of years of school were good (band, fencing, school, band), my last couple of years were essentially the same as me driving in a fast car that is about to go off a cliff, and me quickly trying to tie up ends to graduate with just my history degree instead of two degrees as planned was me jumping out of the car before the car goes over. A quick and dirty end to my undergraduate career, and I'm still scuffed today (no ones jumps out of a car going that fast without some scrapes).
There are a couple of options, and I have to accept the answer that I don't want to hear...but if I don't try, how will I ever know? ...and hopefully even if the answer is no, they will truly have the heart of a teacher and lend me the guidance as to how to proceed with my backup plan.
Upon waking yesterday morning, I felt sick to my stomach and let's just say things were not going so well in the bathroom. I hated doing this, but I called in sick because I was not going to be of very much use between bathroom time and stomach cramps. So I catnapped as much as I could, all with the gazillion things that go on in my mind when my hands are idle. So I spent the day being productive in reorganizing the finances on this new software I'm trying out, and breaking out the cross-stitching that had not been touched since before Lily was ever on the horizon.
I also proceeded to hang some things up around the house, because I am desperate to feel settled in the new place.
This morning Chris and I had a breakfast date over free Chick-Fil-A spicy chicken biscuits after taking Lily to "school" (aka daycare) and listening to preschoolers at a presentation given by the Heard Natural Science Museum. The two presenters were showing off various items and their place in nature such as turtle shells, pelts, and foliage. There was one precocious (and precious) youngling who kept asking "those" questions; "The turtle died? How did it die? Why did it die?...and such related difficult questions. I wonder how I'm going to answer when it's my turn to answer...
Chris left for work and I commenced on being productive. I hung up more wall decor, including getting the printer to behave and print some pictures of Baby Girl to put in this frame I got for her room. Needing some household items, I went shopping for such and picked up a couple of fat quarters. For those of you who didn't know, I got my very first sewing machine this past Christmas and having never used one am itching for inspiration and nervous to jump in without any idea of where to start. I picked up these two because they appealed to me and hopefully will provide me with some inspiration as to their intended purpose in life.
 |
| purse? blanket? flying carpet? |
I also put myself in a position where my vulnerabilities are going to be exposed. I contacted someone about an alternative teacher preparation program. Christopher challenged me to do this, and I've been meaning to, but I am afraid - afraid that the answer will be no. But I know I have a backup plan, one that will take several years to accomplish.
The dilemma: one of the requirements of an alt-cert program is an undergraduate degree with a minimum GPA of 2.5. Yeah, my vulnerability is that requirement because it is lower. You see, my last couple of years of school were full of many struggles, including how to cope with my diagnosis of ADHD, to where when I got overwhelmed with alot of the same, I would just shut down. This was never a problem before because I was involved in so many things...to the point I was overstimulated mentally-which is sanity for someone with ADHD. So although my first couple of years of school were good (band, fencing, school, band), my last couple of years were essentially the same as me driving in a fast car that is about to go off a cliff, and me quickly trying to tie up ends to graduate with just my history degree instead of two degrees as planned was me jumping out of the car before the car goes over. A quick and dirty end to my undergraduate career, and I'm still scuffed today (no ones jumps out of a car going that fast without some scrapes).
There are a couple of options, and I have to accept the answer that I don't want to hear...but if I don't try, how will I ever know? ...and hopefully even if the answer is no, they will truly have the heart of a teacher and lend me the guidance as to how to proceed with my backup plan.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Welcome 2011
Curious to see how far I will go into the blog-osphere this year. I guess my excuses will fall to, "I'm tired after working all day", "My daughter takes up my free time", "I had to do the laundry"... But then on the other hand, those "excuses", or experiences are what will add to a fruitful, yet boring, blog.
Today was a great step toward feeling more invigorated and productive. Since two days ago, I was really wanting to rearrange the massive living area that makes up our living room. Before today, we had closed off part of the space with the couch to make two spaces; living and office. Since Lily has been showing off her new skill of free standing (going from a sitting to standing position without pulling herself up on anything) whenever she can, be it the living room floor, or couch, or Mommy and Daddy's bed - we figured that the walking milestone is even closer. So I pushed the Great Wall of Living Room couch against the wall which opened up the entire space. Now Lily can walk her dragon toy from one end to the other. Now to tidy up said cluttered room.
We also were fortunate enough to catch up with a couple of dear friends for dinner. We haven't seen Owen and Amanda for several months. Owen babysat Lily for about an hour when there was a crazy overlap in schedules a few months ago, and Amanda has been busy being on call and doing what doctor's do, so the last time she saw Lily was probably when she was around two months old?
I am going to pause at this, because tomorrow morning is another day at the saltmines...and Baby Girl will be waking in a few hours as well...
Until next time, but hopefully that next time will not be in 2012...
Today was a great step toward feeling more invigorated and productive. Since two days ago, I was really wanting to rearrange the massive living area that makes up our living room. Before today, we had closed off part of the space with the couch to make two spaces; living and office. Since Lily has been showing off her new skill of free standing (going from a sitting to standing position without pulling herself up on anything) whenever she can, be it the living room floor, or couch, or Mommy and Daddy's bed - we figured that the walking milestone is even closer. So I pushed the Great Wall of Living Room couch against the wall which opened up the entire space. Now Lily can walk her dragon toy from one end to the other. Now to tidy up said cluttered room.
We also were fortunate enough to catch up with a couple of dear friends for dinner. We haven't seen Owen and Amanda for several months. Owen babysat Lily for about an hour when there was a crazy overlap in schedules a few months ago, and Amanda has been busy being on call and doing what doctor's do, so the last time she saw Lily was probably when she was around two months old?
I am going to pause at this, because tomorrow morning is another day at the saltmines...and Baby Girl will be waking in a few hours as well...
Until next time, but hopefully that next time will not be in 2012...
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