So many things have happened since my last post - and all of these things have been pretty good excuses not to update.
After my last pour-out, I took a spontaneous mini-jump back into school life. So if you were to be looking for me at 7am on some mornings - I would be sitting in a classroom at a local community college, learning.
I also got in touch with that teaching program advisor after a spell of random events (my transcripts were placed in another person's box, another person who has not worked there since the beginning of the year, and the advisor just happened to see some papers peeking from this box of things to be forgotten, and she was able to reconnect with me) and she gave me a viable plan. Wish I could have known this plan before I applied for my current class because it not a necessary course in the long run. But He is Master over time.
Retail exhausts and frustrates me. It has always been this way - but the lack of routine is what is the most frustrating. Before my daughter came into this world, routine was the enemy. But now ask me how it is when I don't get to see my daughter in over 40 hours due to my schedule or through "clo-pen" shifts. Not sure how routine would feel, but I imagine it is this way:
Waking up at the same time everyday to get daughter ready for daycare (and Routine would allow ME to take her to daycare instead of leaving it to my husband (he is a champ, by the way) who is good friends with Routine). I would go to work, leave work at a regular time everyday and early enough to pick up baby girl. After work, we could do ANYTHING, go to the library (we maybe get to go once every couple of months now), go to the park, go shopping, maybe enroll her into a water babies class....and then we could make and have dinner together with Daddy. Without Routine's evil twin Retail, we could also have WEEKENDS - Time to do things I have always wanted to do, various events/festivals that happen in town, see friends, do things that my soul has hungered to do such as becoming more involved in the community or in the local church. We won't even go into the bliss HOLIDAYS could bring.
...but Retail is our main source of income, it is also the provider of health insurance incase baby girl gets sick or goes in for well-baby checkups...
I have been trying to find a way to break from Retail since my daughter was born or even find a way to change Retail into something like Routine.
I miss my baby girl a lot...and it has only gotten worse since she is so full of energy and personality. She is walking and just pure FUN. She has always been pure fun, but now that she is a little more independent and isn't waking every three hours as well as doing things on her own - it is exciting watching her discover new things or talents that she didn't know she had...and I feel as though I'm missing it all.
So that has been on my mind for the last...I can't even remember.
I am not going to log onto Facebook for Lent, so I will hopefully update more on here. So until then....